Being a parent to a 21st century child comes with its share of opportunities and of course, challenges. For example, we never thought that one of the worst fears we would face as adults is the presence of the “blue whale” in our world! Yes, there was a time when an apple or a whale were associated with fruits and sea life respectively. Today they threaten to become words in a dictionary for the sheer impact created and in the case of the blue whale, not a very positive one! It is a given that the world we grew up in is very different from the world our children are growing up in and it is a fact that we have little or no knowledge of what the future will be like for them.As parents, we need to recognise that few things remain in our control and it has to do with the power of communication. We may not have all the answers and all the solutions for the future but we will always have the ability to engage with our children and share reflections from the lessons we have learnt about how to deal with situations, hopefully basis of our own experiences.
This wisdom is precious!I have often been amazed how as adults, we hope that our children imbibe all the right values yet we spend little time educating them – for example, statements like, “You don’t value life”; “You dont understand the value of money” or “You know how hard I have had to work for this?” becomes a part of a parent’s resource bank when communicating. But have you ever wondered if you shared with them what that means? If you have always provided your child a car and driver and the child has never experienced the use of public transport, his or her expectation will be based on what he/she has been used to. Then if it becomes over indulgence on their part, without any stops or checks on your part, are they to be blamed? Or are you?Look back at your own childhood – did you really understand when your parent said, “It is too expensive”? Maybe you did, but times were different then. As children, we accepted a lot more because we were not given a rationale or an explanation to begin with. Children today are taught to question, “find out”, probe and that is an expectation we have set for them. If we have encouraged them to think, we also need to play our part and expose them to what reality really is. And this means we need to demonstrate it by allowing them to fall at times, make mistakes, cry a little, risk a little and fail. These experiences enable them to understand that in life, there is no perfect answer unlike an examination. They will have to experience a bit of “grey” to understand that it isn’t always about black or white. They need to experience how to think through consequences, understand “cause” and “effect” and also how to help themselves when faced with adversity.Unless a person spends time working and earning money, it is impossible to understand its value. When you go through a day of work with discipline, boss’ tantrums, peer pressure, executing a task and being rewarded money at the end of the day for your efforts, the value of money is understood. That is when the penny drops, the statement, “Do you know how hard I have worked to make this money” will make sense for them.
What I have described above is simply teaching our children to cope with life. The Blue Whale won’t interest them then because they have had conversations with us, shared their feelings, their insecurities, worked out that they need help or guidance. The conversations that you have with your children should therefore be focused on sharing experiences – how you address your own anxiety, nervousness at work or socially, how you learn to manage your emotions from extreme frustration to extreme happiness, how you learn to deal with obstacles, how you empower those around you and how you emerge more confident. If children have this support system in us as parents or in their schools, they will not become victims to these online games simply because they will be secure.When parents get worried that their children are exposed to swear words, I tell them they should not be. It would be abnormal not to know they exist. It is up to us to explain to them what they represent and what are the consequences when these words are used. Remember when our children were little and they spat out food that they didn’t like at age 10 months? We didn’t get embarrassed then. So why get upset when our children experiment as they grow older? If we taught them that isn’t the way to say no when they were 10 months, we surely can guide them when they are older. Isn’t it is easier as they have developed more?For me personally, sharing experiences with children and empowering them is the way we power ourselves as parents. We may need to reflect closely on our own actions and work out how much of these can our children mirror. Are we good enough as role models for them? And are we as adults capable of having these conversations?
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Fatema Agarkar, Founder , Agarkar Centre of Excellence (ACE)
Veteran of 3 educational start-ups , now Founder of the Agarkar Centre of Excellence, Fatema’s passion for teaching-learning and children defines the different roles she has crafted in 20 years – as an edupreneur, educator and mentor.
Fatema who is a State and University topper as part of the prestigious Mumbai based Sydenham College of Commerce & Economics, holds a degree of Masters in Business Administration (MBA) from Birmingham (UK), apart from her B.ED and ECCE degrees amassed when she decided education was her calling. Having kick-started her career in the corporate world and working with premier organizations like Commerzbank, Times of India and Egon Zehnder International, she always had an inner urge to bring about an enhancement in the sphere of education..
As an educationist and life-long learner, she has come a long way to intertwine modern methods of learning, teaching and customizing education as per the student’s intellectual requisites thus eradicating stress that stems from the education system. She has been sedulous in making comprehensive alterations in the education field in India. Being a risk-taker, Fatema has been focusing on the generation of innovative educational modules and her in-depth academic know-how, nothing but truly defines her ceaseless passion. Her name is synonymous with successful education models of the country and she is adjudged as Education World’s top 50 Educators in the year 2020. Adding more feathers to her hat, she has also been the recipient of several prestigious awards for her outstanding contribution to the field of education in the years 2013 and 2015.
Fatema has been awarded by Giants Group for her outstanding contribution to the field of education in 2012, the Young Achiever’s Award in the year 2017, Singapore based, Best of Asia’s, ‘Enterprising Educator in the year 2018 and as an entrepreneur ‘Best Edupreneur 2019 and Best Leadership’ by Progressive Academic Excellence India (Maharashtra 2019) and one of the 10th finest inspirational educators in 2019 by TKR, India . Her name is synonymous with successful education models of the country and she is adjudged as Education World’s top 50 Educators in the year 2020. Adding more feathers to her hat With close to 2 decades of experience in education, Fatema is the recipient of several honours including the Indian Achiever’s Award 2021. In July 2023, Fatema was also awarded the ‘Mumbai’s top Women Leader’ award by the CMO Asia National Awards’ (10th edition). Fatema is also a Jury Member for Cambridge School Recognition Awards 2025.
Having being associated with leading high school brands like DRS International, Hyderabad, NSS Hill Spring International, Mumbai, The Gera School, Goa, D Y Patil High School, Talegaon (Pune), SVM, Ratnagiri by the Gadre family, The Excellere World School, Gurgaon, JBCN International Schools, Mumbai, Fatema has now close to 40 pre-schools and high schools that she has set up from the grassroot level including a school for special needs’.
Fatema is on the Advisory Board of several Trusts including EduTech India, Wockhardft Foundation as well as a jury member, Education World Awards, a platform that recognizes the efforts of educators pan India. Fatema is also the Vice President for Early Childhood Association (ECA) and the Mumbai Territory Head for Association for Primary Education & Research (APER) in India. Fatema has been appointed as the global ambassador of the Commonwealth Entrepreneurs Club. . Fatema is on the advisory board of the All-India Gaming Federation (AIGF) and currently appointed as the National Council Member for Financial Literacy & Management by WICCI. Given her access to parents and her ability to provide age appropriate strategies to enable them to make more informed choices, Fatema’s passion remains counselling in the hope that effective parenting will enable children to benefit the most.
Fatema is also the special advisor of the Child Chapter Association (CCA), a non-governmental organisation registered as a Section 8. company under the Companies Act, 2013 whose mission is to spread awareness and eliminate child abuse, including child sexual abuse. Her role as a special advisor of CCA includes providing advice and guidance for their special outreach programs for Schools and teachers that tap into the child psyche and help them raise their voice against abuse. Fatema also played an instrumental role in the development of the CCA comic books and characters for their global campaign for child abuse awareness and prevention.
Currently, Fatema is the Advisor & Mentor to Finland International School, Race Course and on course to start her own school in 2026. As a TedX speaker, and a avid blogger, Fatema is passionate about sharing her knowledge amassed and inspiring stakeholders be it teachers, parents or students.
Her vision includes set up up of Soup Kitchens, Foster Homes and a community centre for the elderly under the Agarkar Foundation in time.
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