The need for compassionate and empathic teachers nurturing children be it in early years or primary years, and especially in high school years is simply non-negotiable. There are growing tell-tale warning signs for all of us working in the education space to reflect as a community that we need to course correct this aspect quickly. Every day, tabloids carry news about ‘control’ and ‘conformity’ on part of the teachers causing extreme steps to be taken by the students.
Should we be worried? I know I am.
In conversation with HR Heads in several leading schools, school leadership teams and even owners of schools, often the feedback is that they are battling with consequences of a ‘de-attached’ faculty member – the inability to provide solutions for an emotional child, and in some cases, a disregard all together! And let’s face it, the academic and administrative protocols that a teacher is required to follow, does create its own challenges with their own emotions to be managed, beliefs and what has been communicated to them as ‘rules’ which must be followed to the ‘t’, but the fact is that the outcome of a relationship gone south between a teacher and a child on account of lack of compassion can often be avoided. Period.
I do believe so.
The reality of our world is that as adults we transitioned into the new normal world devoid of lock down times but the children have come away with signs that everything did not go back to being normal for them.
Educators will vouch that we are still going through a phase of transition, with many aspects of academic targets that need some more time, and the ‘demands’ of the academic boards did no favours to anyone but continuing with expectations that did not customise learning for children. So the fact is that before the receptiveness to learning becomes seamless, it is the emotional security that needs to be considered. And perhaps this missing piece is where the problem lies.
As ACE, as we work across national and international curricula schools pan India, the start to every academic year is battling with teachers worried that ‘children have forgotten,’ are not attentive enough, and not listening through! Lethargy, lack of discipline and simply ‘disruptive’ behaviour has been cited and we always remind teachers, that children in their respective developmental stages need communication that needs to be strategically thought through when these challenges arise (and that these are valuable lessons called ‘growing up years’ which is an understanding of what to do, when to do it, and how some choices result in misery). While ‘leading’ and directing in early years is a style that works, by primary years, the conversations need to be empowering and about role-modelling and by middle and high schools, more about partnerships and negotiations that are healthy and lead to a win-win for both parties.
We often get surprised looks when we guide teachers to incorporate humour, and ‘call the bluff’ as strategies in tongue-in-cheek manner instead of ‘talking-down’ to children. Our mentoring programs with our consultancy schools are constantly requesting teachers to bring in an element of surprise when the lesson plans receive zero interest and change the approach by partnering with the class’s favourite teacher (there is always one in every grade, and instead of competing for their love, channelise it to get the targets achieved by peer support), we insist on an understanding of every child’s ‘attitude to learning’ in different subjects areas and assigning an independent ‘Advisor’ to help the child navigate their own emotions and manage their relationships with peers and subject teachers that they are uncomfortable with to ensure that we address their ‘pain-points’. We insist on teachers helping children help themselves by acknowledging the mistake but not embarrassing children by the choice they made, but instead focus on problem solving. And the truth is there is always a solution to every consequence. Some are hard and difficult but that’s where the compassion to help comes in.
It is critical therefore for school managements to factor in professional development ‘time-outs’ for teachers to revisit some psychological aspects of the growth spurts and historically we felt this happened only in the middle and high school years, but it is happening in every grade now! I do feel for teachers, and attaining a ‘teaching degree’ somehow warrants them to have all answers to every aspect of a child’s well being but the truth is they need support. They need mentoring at regular intervals to remind them of the basics & and strategise different approaches to different circumstances.
Mental health experts constantly tell us that before reacting to a mistake, analyse the circumstance surrounding the event, what the person may be experiencing and reacting to internally before judgements are passed. While there must be consequences to mistakes, the degree, the compassion to provide support is what I hope we work on and therefore, this becomes a team effort centred around compassion.
Here is a personal example that I am sharing to drive home a point about ‘staying-in-the-moment’ that will help put all of the above in context:
As Managing Trustee of a South Mumbai, I would enjoy my morning rounds as the children trooped in each day (welcoming them at the entrance, and I particularly loved what they had to share about the previous day or how sleepy they were on a rainy day, and some request or the other to get a free period to do something other than ‘academics’). There was this one little child in junior kindergarten who always came in late, and not a few minutes, sometimes half an hour. As a school that values discipline, we had ofcourse documented rules in the parent and student handbook about tardiness, so the teacher dutifully followed the ‘late-mark’ routine.
Given this continued for weeks, the teacher following rules communicated with the parent, with no response and support after a point led to some communication perhaps with the child directly that may have scared the child for the little one was very very nervous coming to school and refusing to enter! Having watched this child, happy and settled it was a concerned and I decided to wait for him in the lobby and by changing the rules a bit, got him to my cabin on the 4th floor which meant he didn’t have to engage with his teacher, also not go to his class room but instead assist me for some very important work!! He happily walked 4 flight of stairs (great strategy to calm his nerves, and I noted how cleverly he was able to connect his classroom learning to many aspects infrastructure) and once ‘assisting’ me with the important tasks revealed that his teacher told him he would not be allowed to school if he was late again.
This teacher was one of our treasures, bright, enthusiastic and children loved her, and responded to her beautifully. With this knowledge I shared a story of how hard his teacher worked to plan things for his class, how excited she was every day to receive her children, and how passionate she was about every one. And he added his own anecdotes to how wonderful his teacher was. And this helped put him in a better frame of mind to go back to class (I was asked to escort him) and once in the class, I got both of them to ‘talk’. I let the teacher know he was scared about what she said, and her reaction to hug him and say sorry meant my job was done with amazing life lessons for everyone. For her, that she ought not to have said that, for him, his teacher hugged him and loved him and for me, it takes only moments of being alert to avoid a situation that could have gone south.
She continued to be his favourite teacher through kindergarten and he still fondly remembers her.
We later discovered the mother was suffering from cancer and often had a tough time getting her 3 kids to school on time, and she was juggling many things to be able to share openly with us, although we were a very open and embracing school.
Do consider this case study. We make choices. What if the mother had just told us this, what if the teacher had not said what she did … But it all happened.
If we as educators, take a step back, remain true to the moment and exercise a bit of compassion, we have only beautiful memories to be created.
Agreed?
